Marble Jar Friendship
Are you wondering what a marble jar friendship is? Check out Brene Brown explain it in the video below.
Now, here's the story of one of my marble jar friendships. 💛 And before you start reading, yes, Teresa has approved of all of this.
This is my friend Teresa who I have known for 10 years now. We met in college where we co-taught first graders together...we also co-learned that first grade was not our specialty (ha!), but that's another story for another time!
Teresa and I have been through a lot together. Over the past 5 years I became very sick two separate times, and Teresa SHOWED UP big time for me during these times. I had vestibular migraines that caused me to have vertigo 24/7. It was awful. I truly felt like I was never going to get better. She would come over and help me clean, grade papers with me, talk to me on the phone for hours and hours, and so much more. She just showed up continuously. I was absolutely amazed and I still am. She truly is a marble jar friend. Immense trust was built between us.
Most recently Teresa has gone through a very difficult time in her life. She had a beautiful baby girl right at the height of covid. Her whole world was turned upside down with covid restrictions during pregnancy and birth and then the most precious blessing, Mia was born. Unfortunately, her then husband had a very tough time adjusting to parenthood and without going into a lot of details, they fought for their marriage and worked so hard to make it work, but in the end they got divorced.
Teresa and Mia needed a place to stay and well, I have a house and love them both very much. I honestly was a little nervous about having an 8 month old move in, especially because I had lived all by myself for 5 years. I just didn't know what it would all look like, but the decision was made and they moved in December 31, 2020 to start off a fresh year for 2021.
We had multiple conversations about them moving in and how it would all work, but in the end, when you're marble jar friends, you just show up no matter what.
It is now December, 2021 and I have got to say having them move in has been an incredible blessing. Here are some truths about having your best friend and her baby girl move in.
I have become incredibly attached to Mia and love her so much! She has brought so much joy into my life. I love coming home to her fun, giggly personality every day. Her kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, and overall love for people and animals is off of the charts. I just adore her!
Living with your best friend is like having a girl's night every night. We watch movies, plan fun activities for Mia, travel together, have game nights/spa nights, go shopping, and so much more. Also, having the support of your best friend right at home is absolutely priceless.
On the other hand, Teresa and I can fight like sisters. We argue over Kai (my dog) doing the right/wrong thing, household chores, and silly little things. It's almost comical when we look back at some of the things we get mad at. We always apologize, forgive, and move on though.
I am learning some amazing tips for when I become a mom. Mia has lived here since she was 8 months old and she is now 20 months. Teresa is an incredible mom and has taught me SO much! I have learned how to give top-notch diaper changes and baths, set up a great nighttime routine, rock Mia to sleep, and help that sweet baby girl in so many ways all because of her amazing mama! I am so blessed by all that I am learning.
I have also learned that sometimes God opens both your heart and your front door at the same time and when he does, YOU LISTEN! ❤️
I am in awe by this life experience and so thankful for this time in life. Just blessed and thankful. Its not perfect but it sure is overflowing both of our marble jars, even longer than forever.
Teresa's turn...(I really wanted to brag on this woman, because she simply won't)
Hey there! Teresa here...Ali is a list girl, I'm more of a paragraph style....
God knew. This pretty much sums up our friendship that has turned into a sisterhood. Trust was built over the years and moments that turned into memories, just like Ali said! I tell you what though, you find out REAL fast what those marbles truly mean when the whole world shuts down just as you are getting ready to pop out the greatest blessing in the world. Video chats, window visits, masks,..you all know the jig. All of the ways you can show up for someone, this woman did it, and then some! My mama, who is the most incredible woman I have ever known, said it best when she called Ali a once in a lifetime friend.
To make a long story short, Mia didn't deserve what she was born into. Sad realities hit and my world, as I knew it, came crashing down. You just never know how someone will react to raising a little human. Unfortunately, my marriage ended. Fortunately, Mia and I are in the best possible place to heal, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Not being sure of your next move is a terrifying feeling for a mother. But, my goodness, there is an immense peace when your bestie says you can both move in with her! Ali and I talked about the idea of Mia and I moving in when we initially discussed separation and divorce. Then when it became an immediate reality, Ali didn't hesitate.
Within hours of the decision being made, Ali sent me pictures of a cleared out garage and guest room. This woman is incredible! Moving day came and the new normal began. Miss Mia could not adore her Auntie Yaya anymore than she does. She essentially wants to be her Auntie Yaya when she grows up. I never expected Ali to help out with the daily care of Amelia, but she never hesitates to jump in, often times without me even having to ask. If she sees it needs done, Ali does it! Not only is she there to help, Ali also manages to get every single milestone on video - it is a gift!
A marble jar friend is someone who will pour unconditional love into your little human. A marble jar friend will share their special make-up with an 18-month old because she wants to be just like her Auntie Yaya. A marble jar friend is someone who will come clean up puke in the middle of sleeping because your daughter has thrown up for the first time in her life. A marble jar friend is someone who will say the same prayer for twenty minutes straight because a sweet little girlie wants to hear it more. A marble jar friend is someone who will hug you until the tears stop flowing. A marble jar friend is someone who takes your daughter's mental health as seriously as you do. A marble jar friend is someone who will listen to a song on repeat and dance her heart out with your baby girl. A marble jar friend is someone who knows you better than you know yourself. A marble jar friend is someone who cuts your hair because you don't have the time or money to get it done. A marble jar friend is someone who will come back into the bedroom at least 27 times because Miss Mia just HAS to say goodnight one extra time. A marble jar friend is someone you pray your daughter finds, too, because you do not know how you would live without them.
Words will never be able to adequately express what this woman has done for Miss Mia and I...and no, it really hasn't been all sunshine and roses, because we will simply never agree on the temperature of the house, or the length of time it should take to put the laundry away; but it has been everything I could have ever hoped for and more. You have put action to 100/100, that place where we give all we have to what we are. Ali, THANK YOU. I do not know how you have done it all. You are empowering, caring, loving, compassionate, dedicated, and an inspiring woman for Sweet Mia to look up to. Love you, even longer than forever.
💕Teresa (and Mia)